Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look. Marcus Aurelius
5 Signs you have low confidence
There are reasons why you have low confidence. Neighborhood children bullied you as a child, parents ripped into you rather than build you up. A friend or significant other left you wallowing in self-pity. You suffer from low self-esteem. We are all only human, and our confidence made fragile by life, circumstance, and how we face those incidents. Whatever the reason, if you lack confidence, you will not feel smart enough, attractive enough, or good enough. If you concerned about your confidence levels, take a look at these five signs that you lack confidence.
1. Explaining Yourself
Do you regularly make excuses or try to justify your actions? For example, a friend invites you to a party. You are busy, but you feel you need to explain why you are unable to attend. A simple, “I am unable to make it,” is all you to say. However, you tell a story of exactly why you will not be able to attend. When you are confident, you do not need to explain your actions. Because you are unable to participate in a party that does not change who you are as a person. The same goes for when you make a mistake; it is not necessary to make a million excuses as to why it happened. You are human, and as a human, we make mistakes all the time. When you make excuses and try to explain yourself continuously, you are showing signs of low confidence.
2. Responding To Criticism
No one likes to be criticized, even if it is helpful. How do you react to criticism? Are you aggressive and immediately take offense when someone makes a critical comment? It could be something simple as your performance was not as well at our weekly meeting. Your friend has made a comment on your presentation, and you immediately come up with an excuse, and you do so somewhat aggressively. You have shown a lack of confidence. Even if it is not pleasant to hear, a confident person can handle criticism. A confident person has the strength to determine whether it’s constructive or not. If it is, then they accept it and make the necessary changes for improvement and if it is not, they dismiss it and move on.
Someone comments that you look sad, and you immediately deny it. You don’t just dismiss that you’re feeling depressed, you claim you are never upset. However, that is not the case; your overcompensating for lack of confidence is usually a common trait in people with low confidence. We all compensate in our way. Some, through arrogance, others react like the example above. We have points of strength and weakness, that’s okay – you don’t have to compensate because of that.
We often claim perfectionism as a strength. It isn’t. It’s a sign that we lack confidence. We believe it is pushing us to success. Instead, it’s putting us under undue pressure because there is no such thing as perfect. Since it’s unachievable, you are setting yourself up for failure. You can not be perfect, so your going after perfection is going to lead to disappointment and a constant lowering of your confidence. People with confidence aren’t perfectionists, but they always work to succeed.
When you lack confidence, you will struggle to make a decision, even when it is as simple as where to grab dinner or something more significant. You become so riddled with doubt you become paralyzed by the choices you face. What if you make the wrong choice? What if your decision leads to criticism of weighing pros and cons. Do you have trouble believing in your ability to make decisions, or your friends distrusting you because of it? They don’t trust themselves to make intelligent decisions or the right choice so, and they struggle to make a decision.
Remember, you are better than the sum of your past. Until next time, keep the faith.