Day 24
What I am going to share with you is personal. It’s not the type of information I would usually share with anyone, and it hurt more than I have admitted to anyone.
My husband’s cancer came back in October of 2018. By late November, the doctors offered him some options, which he decided he would try. He didn’t get the opportunity to try anything. They could not get his blood pressure and heart rate under control.
In late December, the doctors informed me they were recommending hospice care. My husband chose to receive hospice care at home. It was tough to watch a 240-pound man waste away.
My husband was a healthy man, except for his asthma. He was 74 when he passed, and until cancer returned, he could have passed for a man in his late forties or early fifties.
He was a good husband and father to his children. When our children found out how serious his cancer had become, they came home. Our sons, wives, children, and the great-grandchildren surrounded him with love for the last two weeks of his life.
My children were so supportive of me. After we gave him a wonderful farewell home, it was time to realize life goes on. I found out this wonderful man had failed to prepare for his wife after death.
In another year and a half, I will be three-quarters of a century-old and having to work to supplement my income. Because of COVID and my age, I am unable to work with seniors for both our protection.
The result is I have had to make drastic changes in my life. I know you are wondering how could that be? You’re doing so many things, how could this happen! It is true. I am doing many things. However, because I have such a wide range of interests, it is difficult for me to stay focused on one thing long enough to make it financially viable.
The loss of my husband has caused a most difficult time in my life. The loss of three family members to COVID also caused a difficult time. But COVID helped me realize how important God, my family, and friends are to me, and I have looked at the things I want to do for myself, instead of what others feel I should be doing.
Please do not feel sorry for me. There are times when I do that for myself. I do not want anyone else to join in and give me reasons/excuses to hold onto the negative. I do not allow myself to wallow in self-pity. It would destroy me, and I still have too much I want to do. The things I am doing are things I enjoy, and if what they say is true, the money will begin to follow. At least once I get better at organizing them.
Here is what I have going for me. I am a motivational speaker, author, writer, blogger, internet video show host, podcaster, and skin care coach. And I manage to include my passion for reading romance stories.
The most challenging thing in my life is learning to live it without my husband. Sometimes when I think of him, I feel his presence, or I catch a quick shadow movement, and it feels like I just missed seeing him.
The fact that there was no insurance is my fault. I should have questioned my husband after he survived his first fight with cancer. I made the mistake of assuming, and you know what they say about assuming.
My advice to you is to discuss these things with your spouses. Do not let what happened to me happen to you. The things I do, I do because I enjoy them, and that should be the only reason when you get to be my age. It should not be a case of supplementing my income.
I am supposed to be relaxing, live life at my leisure, and enjoy my grandchildren and great-grandchildren. They are my pride and joy. I will live on long after I return to my Heavenly Father’s home through them. I am going to quit now. I am starting to feel very emotional and a little sentimental. My eyes are tearing up, so until tomorrow, when I share what I believe are my best physical features, please stay safe, and keep the faith.
