Not everyone is going to get it right. Sadly, there’s always someone quick to point out when you’re getting it wrong. It’s when you come under fire that you lose confidence quickly.
To get past this kind of blow to our confidence, you need to understand these simple truths:
Not Everyone Has It Right. Not Even You
Haters are going to hate. But just because someone comes at you with the most reasonable-sounding explanation in the world of why you’re an idiot (and you’re an expert at giving that speech to yourself), the truth is, the person doing the talking quite likely does not know what they’re talking about either. There is one simple truth: People don’t know everything, and even when they think they do, they tend to get things wrong. Just because someone said something nasty, it does not make it right, regardless of who said it.
A Lot of Criticism is Grounded in Jealousy
When you beat yourself up, how much of it is the result of the green-eyed monster? Too often, we give people power over us they do not deserve. We listen to their complaints thinking they are right without questioning why they are attacking what you are doing. The biggest culprit of why you have drawn the attention of critics is jealousy. Do not let someone pull your confidence down just because they are feeling threatened by where you are.
You Are Better Than You Think
The loss of confidence can make you the critic. Why? Because now you are looking for justification for thinking you are no good. And trust me, when you go hunting for this kind of reason, you will always find it. Here is where you need to back up and take a good, hard, impartial look at yourself. Ask:
- Is This Thought True?
For example, you might be thinking, “I fail at everything I do.” Is this realistic? I would say probably not.
- If This Thought Is not True, What Emotion is Causing It?
The most likely explanation? A lot of negative emotions come from fear. In the previous example, you might be afraid of failing, so by convincing yourself you are a failure already, you no longer have to try.
- What Is a Truer Statement I Might Make Instead?
Try rewording the thought and keep it honest. ‘I am afraid of failing, but since I have succeeded in the past, there is good reason to think I will succeed now.”
Confidence comes from accepting the reality of who you are and where you are. Remember, no one, not even you, have a right to make you feel small. Until tomorrow, stay safe, and keep the faith.