“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.“ – Marcel Proust

You are sending signals to everyone in your environment, even if you do not realize it. You are also scanning your environment for signs from others.

While there is a lot you can gather from looking at someone, your brain’s primary objective is safety. It is attempting to determine if the people in your environment are potential friends or enemies.

Suppose you needed directions. There are certain people you feel comfortable asking and others that you certainly do not. It is a conscious decision. You based that on the signals you received from that person.

Some people send out signals for friendship. Others send out the signs of a potential enemy.

Before you speak with someone, you are both assessing non-verbal communication signals. The majority of the time, others see you long before they hear you. Since they are looking at you, it only makes sense to send significant signals to create interest and friendship.

Have you ever noticed that some people are much more noticeable than others? Some people get seen positively, while others get noticed negatively.

Then there is everyone else. Most of us tend to blend into the background and fail to send either friendship or enemy signals. We tend to be very neutral in the signals we send. We do not get seen as a potential friend or threat. If you have ever felt invisible, this is the reason why. You are “invisible” to the brain of everyone around you.

Once a person’s brain classifies you as “neutral,” you’re quickly forgotten. The brain has other concerns. You get viewed as unlikely to provide anything positive or negative. You are the equivalent of a tree to a person that does not need any shade at the moment.


You can send friendship signals to the people that interest you:

  • A genuine smile. Not that fake thing you throw around most of the time. It is easy for people to spot a phony smile unless you are Robert De Niro or Meryl Streep.
  • Smiling people get viewed as happier, more confident, and more likable.
  • It can be an excellent way to judge how others feel about you. We tend to smile at those we like and fail to smile at those we dislike.
  • Faking a smile is extremely difficult without practice. You can tell the difference between a fake and a real smile in the corners of the mouth and cheeks. In a genuine smile, the corners of the mouth are upturned, and the cheeks raise.
  • Also, look for some wrinkling around the corners of the eyes during a real smile.
  • Practice your smile in the mirror and see how real you can make it look.

Many times we do not realize the signals we send. The next time you are around a group of people, observe their response to you. Are you sending the message you want to be friends or enemies?

Until next time, stay safe, and keep the faith.

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