My Mother

Today is my mother’s birthday. I have thought of her all day. I am not sad, but I do miss her presence. My mother would be 96 if she were still with us. Below is an excerpt of a story I wrote about her. She is still loved and remembered by her eight children.

          My mother was the kind of woman who did not change her mind once she committed her mind to what she wanted to accomplish. She did not have much in the way of clothes, but she dressed the best she could and took care of herself and us. The neighbors thought she was self-important when she enrolled herself in night school. Some said she felt she was better than they were because the Housing Authority offered her a part-time job working in the toy loan center. What little money they paid her decreased what she owed for rent.

          My mother did not concern herself with what others said about her. She told me they were jealous because she was trying to make something of herself.

          My Uncle Jesse and Aunt Lee, and our sister, who they had adopted as a baby, came to see us often and brought groceries. Sometimes Uncle Jesse would come to pick us up and take us back to his house to spend the weekend with his family. He had a cousin, also named Jesse, and sometimes he would help with groceries. He was the one who told my mother she should check out books from the library on taking the post office exam.

That is the only time I can remember my mother ever being interested in reading. She poured over those manuals, and later I read the test questions to her, and she answered. Soon Cousin Jesse informed my mother where to go for the post office exam. My mother dressed in her best and went to take the test. We were all anxious for a month while waiting for the results. My mother was hurt and disappointed when they came, but she did not let that stop her. In the beginning, her scores were below 50%, but she kept taking those tests, and her scores kept improving. Finally, the day came when she scored 100% and went on standby lists all over the Los Angeles area. She continued to take tests, waiting for the day they called her to work.

While she waited on the post office, my mother worked as a security guard. The job helped her get off the welfare system and move out of the projects. In the meantime, three of us had grown up and moved out. We did not want to hurt her feelings, but we had long since thought she might be wasting her time.

My brother, who is also a Jesse, went into the Marines and helped my mother get her first car. Tears of happiness rolled down her face. That seemed to be the trigger for change. Two years later, the post office called my mother to work. She did not care that she worked the graveyard shift—she was ecstatic. Each payday, she set money aside for a house.

Three years later, my mother moved into her first never-been-lived-in-before home in a new suburb of Compton, California. My mother was now riding high. She had her car, job at the post office, a brand new house, and money in the bank. It took years, and even her children had given up on achieving her dream, but she achieved her four goals. Now she could gloat. She often said that while we and everyone else had given up, God never did. She trusted He would keep His Word if she remained faithful and believed.

God not only helped my mother with the house in Compton but when she retired eleven years later, she was able to sell that house and buy another never-been-lived-in-before home in the Antelope area of Sacramento, California. My mother never doubted that God would help her fulfill her dreams, and He did that and much more because my mother was patient, and she kept the faith.

My was a determined woman. She never gave up on her dreams. She was two months short of being 90 when she went home to be with our Heavenly Father. She often said she wanted to go in her sleep, and that is how she went.

Rest in peace, Mom. I hope you have received the answers to all your questions.

Until tomorrow, please stay safe, and keep the faith. 

Gratitude!

Gratitude is a choice and it’s one you can make right now, no matter what’s happening around you!

Tomorrow I will share with you how this day went for me. Don’t worry! I am not going to complain or whine. I am going to share my gratitude. Even though I procrastinated on my project, it was completed on time. To read my story, please return tomorrow. Until then, stay safe, and keep the faith.

The Thief of Time

I find myself in trouble because I did a little procrastination. It was an easy job, so I thought I had time.

You guessed it. Time ran out and I found did not have all the information I needed. However, I will do my best to get he rest of the information and get it done in a timely manner. Wish me well. I have learned my lesson.

Until tomorrow, stay safe, and keep the faith.

What is Self-Hatred?

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Yesterday, I shared what happens when we allowed limiting beliefs to control our lives. Today, it seems a good idea to discuss self-hatred and what to do about it.

Could it be possible you hate yourself too much? Self-hatred is more than simply not liking yourself. When you suffer from self-hatred, you will constantly put yourself down and feel like you are not good at anything.

Here, we will look at what self-hatred is, the impact it can have on your life, and how you can stop it in its tracks.

Understanding self-hatred

Self-hatred is basically like having a little bully sat inside your head. You will experience constant criticizing thoughts, pointing out your flaws and mistakes. Just some common self-hatred thoughts you might encounter include:

  • You’re a loser
  • Why did you even try? You knew you would fail
  • You aren’t good enough
  • Why can’t you be normal?

You will put yourself down and compare yourself to others frequently. Self-hatred tends to develop over time and is triggered by more than one event.

How can it impact your life?

Although self-doubt is healthy, self-hatred is not. If you struggle with self-hatred, it can have a devastating impact on your life. Often, self-hatred feelings worsen over time and can lead to destructive behaviors as you try and numb the negative self-talk.

Many people who suffer from self-hatred develop destructive behaviors such as cutting themselves, developing eating disorders, or turning to drugs and alcohol. It can impact every aspect of your life, including your relationships, your career, and the friends you include in your life. You may also stop caring about the things you used to enjoy and avoid things that make you feel better.

The impact it can have on your life makes it essential to treat it quickly rather than ignore it. The question is, how can you eliminate self-hatred?

Ways to eliminate self-hatred from your life

There are many ways to eliminate self-hatred from your life. Learning how to tame your inner bully is a significant first step. So, when you notice that inner voice telling you negative things about yourself, switch it around. Stop those negative thoughts in their tracks and turn them into a positive.

So, if your inner bully says, “you aren’t worth anything,” switch it to “I may feel like I am not worthy, but I know that I am.” The more you counteract the negative with positive thoughts, the more favorable your mind will become.

You can also make a list of all your strengths. If you struggle to come up with some, ask those closest to you. When you focus on your strengths, you will not get too caught up in your weaknesses.

Finally, work on building up self-compassion. That is, treat yourself the same way you would treat a good friend. Would you beat them up for making a mistake? If not, why do it to yourself?

Overall, self-hatred can be a powerful thing to overcome since it builds up over time. However, the tips above can help you start to quieten your inner bully and develop a little more self-compassion.

I have shared some of the things you can do to help eliminate self-hatred. The rest is up to you. Until tomorrow, stay safe, and keep the faith. 

What is a Limiting Belief?

A limiting belief is a belief about yourself that limits you in some way. It could be about your ability to do something, your likelihood of being loved by somebody, or your chances of getting a job you want. If you believe something which puts a limitation on yourself, that is a limiting belief. These beliefs can constrain you and your life and make you feel as though you are less than other people or will not accomplish your goals.

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Examples of limiting beliefs

If you are starting to think that this sounds familiar and you might have some limiting beliefs, let’s take a look at some common examples.

“I can’t do it”: This is one of the most common limiting beliefs and can creep into our lives when we are children. If you hear children saying this, it is important to correct them with a positive line. It could either be, “You can’t do it…yet!” or you can reinforce the idea that they can do it!

“I’m not good enough”: Whether it is our qualifications, our bodies, our minds, our faces, or our salaries, not feeling good enough is a common emotion which we are all likely to have experienced at some point. It will be much more robust in your mind than in anyone else around you, so try to turn this around and stay positive rather than negative and limiting yourself.

Why are limiting beliefs harmful?

You might think you are realistic, and there is a lot to be said for realism and maintaining a sensible course of action. However, limiting beliefs are different because they do not even offer the opportunity to achieve your goals. Rather than reinforcing positive emotions and encouraging yourself to work harder towards a plan, you are giving up and telling yourself that you can not do it, you won’t be good enough, or somebody else will do it instead.

Limiting beliefs can stop you from going after what you want, and in the long run, they can severely damage your self-esteem and confidence. You will start to regret letting your limiting beliefs take over, which in turn could create even more limiting beliefs.

In the end, letting go of your limiting beliefs and changing the narrative can help you to understand more about yourself and go for the goals that you thought were out of reach. Until next, stay, keep the faith, and let go of those limiting beliefs. 

Choose What You Believe

Hi! I know it is late, and I have already posted my blog post for today, but I found this article. I am giving you a spoiler alert. Please read this article and when you finish, reread it from the bottom up. There are two messages. You must choose which message to accept and believe. I would love for you to leave a comment.

Until next time, stay safe, and keep the faith. 

8 Strategies to Help You Make New Friends

Even though you enjoy the friends you have, you may occasionally think about making some new ones. You probably already know that finding close, loyal confidantes can be difficult. But your life could change in many marvelous ways if you make some fascinating new friends.

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Actively engage in these strategies to seek new friends:

  1. Join a volunteer organization. One of the best ways to widen your pool of friends is to join a local club. Consider clubs like Kiwanis, Lions Club, the Masons, the Elks, the Rotary, or the Moose.
  • Those who join volunteer organizations care about others and want to make a difference in the world.

  • You can even bring more meaning to your life and become a better friend yourself.

  • Take up a new sport. Engaging in an unfamiliar physical activity that piques your interest can lead you to others who like the same exercise and teach you about it.

  • Be open to meeting new people. When you are out at a local restaurant, lounge, or club, begin to notice others who approach your group to chat on Friday nights.

  • Perhaps you have been around the relatives of your friends and thought they were interesting, but you have not attempted to get to know them. Maybe one of them would be a great new friend to have.

  • Meet other parents. Who knows, your next best friend may live around the corner from you. Maybe it is that parent who picks up the kids at the mall after you have dropped them off.

  • As a parent, making friends with other parents can provide you with helpful support and plenty of good times with someone you have a lot in common.
     
  • Attend church or partake in another weekly ritual. If you go to church, you already have at least some connection to others who worship there. Plus, you share the same religious beliefs. Make an effort to get better acquainted with some of the adults at church.

  • If a church is not your thing, look for another Sunday activity where you can mingle with others. For example, have lunch at the same restaurant, hang out at the beach, or work out at a local health club.

  • Go to neighborhood parties. One of the best ways to connect with tons of people is by attending block parties. You will tend to be in a festive mood and open to chatting.

  • Volunteer at a charity or community event. Nothing will help you get to know people as quickly as working together in a booth at a community fair or gathering. You will likely meet many others who are helping with the event as well.

  • Take walks or go bike riding in your neighborhood. On your block, you may find your next best friend. When you are active and engaged in fitness-related activities, you will likely encounter other individuals who are doing the same. Talk to others when you pass them, even if you have seen them a hundred times before.
  • You can decide that today’s the day to make a new friend.

Plenty of activities exist that can assist you with making some new friends. Having an open mind and heart also goes a long way. Stay on the lookout for those who seem interesting to you. Finding more friends will surely enrich your life.

As always, stay safe, and keep the faith.