Self-Coaching: Can It Work?

Every day, we read stories where someone with absolutely no experience learns how to build a complete house – structure, plumbing, electrical, everything – using only YouTube tutorials. Or a rank amateur learns how to strip a 1952 car engine and rebuild it using what they learned from a car restoration program on TV.

It seems logical and undoubtedly possible, therefore, that we could also learn how to coach ourselves.

The essence of all coaching is in the ability, desire, and appropriate action required to create positive change, and we have all made some significant changes in our life without a coach, haven’t we?

Advantages of Self-Coaching

We should be able to take any circumstance, event, situation, or idea and think it through with enough depth and perception to move it from thought into action and then to reality, without needing to involve anyone else, shouldn’t we? We’ve done it before many times.

Logic says that by coaching ourselves, we have the advantage of really knowing what makes us tick, what our history is, and what our likes and dislikes are. Nobody is better than us when it comes to learning all about ourselves and how we feel about ourselves, right?

Consider these other advantages of self-coaching:

  1. No time or location constraints. We always know where we are and what we are doing, so we can engage in the coaching process pretty much anytime, anywhere. We can choose the issue or the idea and start right now if we want.

  2. We can choose our process. We can select a free-flowing approach to tackling the issue or a more structured methodology.

    1. We can sit our imaginary other selves in a chair and engage verbally.

    1. We can use the written word. We can make notes.

    1. We can ride our bikes or hike up a mountain.

    1. We can even record our self-to-self exchanges on our phones.

  3. We don’t have to conform. We don’t have to work to someone else’s ideas or methods.

  4. No need for a coach’s approval. We don’t need anyone else’s approval to take the actions we determine to be most appropriate.

Advantages of Hiring a Coach

On the other hand, how are we going to challenge our perceptions, beliefs, or old behavior patterns? Will we ever be able to ask ourselves challenging-enough questions to influence our thoughts and processes to determine the effectiveness or efficiency of our strategies?

Then, there is the all-important action element. Are we more likely to take action on our determinations and ideas than we are when faced with the accountability of our Coach?

And all the while, we have Albert Einstein whispering to us so succinctly – “You cannot solve a problem with the same thinking that created it.”

Further Thoughts…

Self-analysis and self-understanding are critical. It’s essential to take sufficient time and engage with enough energy to review your situation and circumstances.

You are doing this once a month to find out what’s working and what’s not and doing your best to determine what changes you need to make and where they are highly beneficial.

But if you want to change, if you really want positive outcomes, and you want them ASAP, by far, your best strategy is to avail yourself of a coach. You can send your notes to your coach and ask if they can help you work through these issues as a matter of priority.

An effective coaching process is a much more unified, collaborative experience than a one-sided Leader/Follower arrangement.

You will get so much more out of your coaching if you share your well-thought-through insights with your Coach. Then, they are positioned to steer you directly and precisely towards the outcome you want.

Self-help is genuinely beneficial. However, rapid, permanent, positive change is even better! If you want to get the very best out of yourself, you want things to improve in all aspects of your life; it’s best to choose the most effective strategy and run with it.

Working with a coach that’s a good fit for you is that strategy.

Until next time, stay safe, and keep the faith.

Careers From Home

Help me celebrate the launching of my TV Mini-Series Journal For Success, premiering on Raven the Talk Show Maven’s new “Careers From Home TV Channel” Join us for the Live celebration today 4 pm PST/7 pm EST on FB here (or) on Clubhouse follow @talkshowmaven
I’m super excited to see you @ 4PST

Entrepreneurs Living The Dream 2022

Join us as we gear up for February 24-25, 2022. Entrepreneurs Living The Dream 2022 Presents “SUIT UP & SHOW UP In 2022” EARLY BIRD SPECIAL $15 👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾

This promises to be another great event! They have an early bird ticket that can’t be beat.

I will post something, but for now, take advantage of this opportunity. Until later, stay safe, and keep the faith.

Sometimes You Make Tough Decisions

Sometimes it feels like life is nothing but a series of difficult decisions. While this isn’t always true, it has a basis in reality. How much would you like to have someone else to talk to about these decisions? A good coach provides that kind of assistance.

So, when looking for a coach, be sure the coach knows what you are looking to learn to do better. It’s okay to have more than one coach. No one coach knows everything.

That is it for now. Until next time, stay safe, and keep the faith.


I look for reasons to be happy every day. I am rarely unhappy. When I am down, it usually has to do with something I have no control over. The rest of the time is my choice as to how my day is going to go. That is why people ask if I am ever upset or angry. Yes, I do get upset, and I do get angry. I refuse to give them control.

Now, there are things I have to do battle with because they want to control me. I will share them with you at a later time. So, until next time, stay safe, and keep the faith

My Thanksgiving Day!

group of friends making toast
Photo by fauxels on

I know I am late writing about my Thanksgiving day, but I felt stuffed from all the food I ate.

No, that is not a picture of my family. Although, it could be. My family is a melting pot of integration, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. There is Italian, white, Hispanic, black, native American, and Portuguese. I love all nationalities of my family. I selected the picture because I wanted to give you a visual to remind you and me of what it is like to gather together for Thanksgiving.

I cooked for Thanksgiving like I do every year. I cooked a turkey, ham, dressing, mixed vegetables, gravy, and a cake. My grandson had brought over an apple pie, and I had purchased vanilla and chocolate ice cream and a pecan pie. I also had egg nog and wine.

I planned to spend the day alone with my food, reading a good romance, and watching Christmas movies. My grandson and his girlfriend asked me to go with them to her parents for Thanksgiving dinner. It took some talking to get him to realize I wanted to be alone.

You would think after all these years, my children would know, understand, and accept that I need alone time occasionally. Ever since I was eight or nine, I have taken care of someone. So, I grab at any alone time I can get.

I intended to take pictures of the food, but unexpected guests interrupted me, and all thoughts of pictures went out the window. I enjoyed my company. My baby son has two girlfriends. They know about each other, and because my son could not be there, they got together and came to keep me company.

In case you are wondering how this works for them, let me explain. The ladies know he is not good relationship material, and I guess he is a friend with benefits, and they do not seem to mind him splitting his time between them.

They didn’t want me to be alone, and I guess they didn’t want to be alone either, so they came by and spent the afternoon and evening with me. Good thing! It cut down on the amount of food I had leftover.

I missed the alone time, but I had fun with the girls. They were good company, and we had a wonderful time enjoying the food.

The only thing missing was potato salad, macaroni, and cheese, and collard greens. I didn’t cook rolls because I am cutting down on white bread. No cornbread because I had cornbread dressing. I left the other items off the menu because it would only be me eating, and even for me, that would have been a little too much.

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I sure hope you did too. Although I missed the alone time to read and watch my Christmas stories without conversation, it was still a lovely day, and I am glad I cooked. Thanksgiving and Christmas are my favorite times to cook because it is my way of showing my family how much I love them and just how much they mean to me even when they are not home.

It brings back memories of getting up early before everyone wakes up, putting the turkey in the oven, and preparing breakfast for everyone. I won’t tell you about Christmas until Christmas time. For Thanksgiving, it was pancakes, bacon, eggs, and cocoa for the kids.

After breakfast, the kids would watch cartoons until they heard their friends playing outside, then they would beg to go out. My husband always used holidays to sleep in late except for Christmas.

When he got up, the house smelled of turkey and Thanksgiving. At dinner time, which was usually about two or three in the afternoon, because we couldn’t wait any longer, we would say what we were thankful for and say a prayer, then it was off to the races to enjoy dinner.

I miss those times, but I have my memories, and I can see in my mind’s eye very vividly those events and smell the food as if I were there at that time. I am grateful I have my memories.

Build memories with your families, and enjoy your time together. Until next time, stay safe, and keep the faith.

My family, when the boys were still, along with my husband and myself.

The Power of Meditation

Today’s world, thankfully, is changing. People are incorporating more holistic practices and mindful practices into their daily lives. From children to elders, meditation is one of those practices.

We all know someone who takes on the practice of meditation. For some people, it’s a daily practice, while for others, it’s just for emergencies. What are some of those emergencies? It’s those moments where you feel like your life is spinning out of control. It’s for times when you can’t seem to get out of your way.

Can you become one of the masses and take on the practice of meditation, as well? Does it sound like it’s too time-consuming and not worth the trouble? If you think this way, you’ll be in for a delightful surprise. Not only is meditation most certainly worth the time and effort, but the rewards will speak for themselves.

There are so many benefits to meditation that will delight and surprise you. First of all, let’s get into the subject of what meditation is. Some people think you have to be a highly spiritual person or an expert in meditation with a certification to your name.

It is not the case. Meditation is available for everyone, and why not? It has a multitude of benefits.

What is Meditation?

The practice of meditation has been around for centuries. People have used it for religious purposes and cultural reasons. There are as many forms of meditation as there are practices.

The art and practice of meditation have one goal in mind – to slow down the mind. Especially in today’s culture, we all have such busy lifestyles and even busier minds. Stress levels are up, blood pressure is up, and relaxation is down. This is where meditation comes into play.

The art and practice of meditation is one where you allow yourself and, most importantly, your mind to relax, rest, and rejuvenate itself. You take time to practice the art of breathing, slowing down your mind, and coming back to the center.

What is the center? Center is the place where your deepest desires live and breathe. It’s the place where you can move forward and get back on track. The true history of meditation is the practice of getting into a thought consciousness of total awareness and not letting the mind wander.

However, this is something that takes time and practice. The history and background of meditations are to serve one higher purpose. That purpose is to be in and experience present-moment living.

What is the Power of Meditation?

While some people might view meditation as some woo practice that doesn’t really work, the truth is that there is power behind meditation. When a person meditates, your brain waves change. Meditation can change your mind, or at least your mindset.

When someone meditates, their brain waves can slow down. With proper breathing techniques, beta waves in the brain are reduced. When the beta waves calm down and slow down, there’s a sense of overall calm and well-being as an after effect.

Meditation affects the brain and its brain waves. Each part of the brain, according to scientific studies and research, is affected by meditation. Incoming information slows down when meditating:

  • Emotions are not as strong
  • Sensory input slows down
  • Over-thinking ceases
  • Information overload slows down

Several parts of the brain are positively impacted by meditation:

  • Frontal lobe
  • Parietal lobe
  • Thalamus

Imagine being able to control your brain to some degree and relax, focus, and have more clarity. All this can come from meditation.

Until next time, stay safe, and keep the faith.


It has been a challenging year, but also rewarding. I stepped outside my comfort zone, and have enjoyed myself. I am grateful for the challenges, both large and small. I have learned things about myself and that gives me great joy.

I will share more gratitudes tomorrow. You are welcome to share yours in the comment section. Until next time, stay safe, and keep the faith.