10 Signs You Don’t Love Yourself pt. 2 of 2

Below is part two of yesterday’s post.

Sign #6: You Aren’t Eating Foods that Fuel You

It’s normal to binge on junk food once in a while, and if you’re going through a stressful time, you might find yourself hitting up the drive-thru more often than usual. But if poor eating choices are routine, consider what message you might be trying to send to yourself.

Are you telling yourself that you’re not worth the effort of preparing a delicious, healthy meal? Are you saying that you can’t choose foods that give you energy and make you feel like you can accomplish your goals? Are you convinced there’s simply no time to care for you?

Sign #7: You’re Not Taking Time to Relax

You don’t have to devote hours of your day to practicing meditation or yoga. But do consider how often you permit yourself to relax. When was the last time you left space on your calendar just for you? How often do you get home from work to start on another list of tasks? These choices could be caused by overwhelming, but they may also point out that you don’t feel like you can relax.

If you struggle to love yourself, you might believe you’re worthy of love only if you’re doing something. You derive your sense of self-worth from your to-do list, so the idea of slowing down feels overwhelming.

Sign #8: You Don’t Forgive Yourself

Last night, you laid awake remembering the silly thing you said to the cashier. You thought it was a joke, but she didn’t laugh. Now you’re thinking that you’re so stupid. You forgot to pay the bills again, and the water was shut off for a few hours. You forgot your co-worker’s husband’s name at the party last week.

It’s normal to feel embarrassed or stupid from time to time. But if you’re constantly replaying all of the ways you messed up, you might struggle with self-forgiveness.

When you’re in a relationship with someone you love, forgiveness must be a natural part. Forgiveness should be like a river between you, allowing love and compassion to flow freely. But if you don’t love yourself, you might struggle with forgiving yourself.

Sign #9: You Let Others Dictate Your Choices

You worry about what others think. You can’t decide unless you’ve checked in with your spouse, best friend, co-workers, in-laws, and other people. While waiting for approval, you don’t let yourself take that dance class or pursue that business degree you’ve always wanted.

Constantly seeking approval and validation from others for your life choices is often a loud warning sign that you don’t love yourself. You already know what you need and want. You must trust that your loving heart guides you on the best path.

Sign #10: You Never Treat Yourself

When you love someone, you want to do nice things for them. Maybe you always give your spouse a massage after a hard day at work or put little notes in your child’s backpack. Perhaps you always pick up the phone to listen to a friend when she calls you, or you don’t hesitate to step in and help a co-worker who’s running behind on a deadline.

But ask yourself when was the last time you did something nice for yourself. Do you ever treat yourself to something lovely for no reason?

If you don’t remember, start thinking about nice things for yourself that you would like. Perhaps you would enjoy a massage at the mall or spend an hour at the beach reading. Maybe you would like a mani-pedi or an evening to binge-watch your favorite TV show. It doesn’t matter what the activity is. All that matters is it feels good to you.

Don’t be afraid to spend time or money on yourself to show love. You’re worth taking care of, too, and you deserve pampering.

If you recognize yourself in the signs above, it’s OK. Things don’t have to be this way anymore.

Until next time, stay safe, and keep the faith.