Today, in recognition of Women’s Month, I am sharing s poem I wrote in 2014. I wrote the poem when I reflected on the rough times my mother went through when my father left us. It was a time when I was my mother’s confidant because we were new in town with no family or friends close by for her to talk with about the things she was feeling.
I listened even though I had no idea how to respond. It was enough for my mother to release the hopelessness and pull herself together for another day.
I welcome any feedback or comments.
I Was Only Eight or Nine
By La Wanna 04.20.2014 Easter Sunday
I was only eight or nine
I sat there, not knowing what to say
She talked and talked
With tears rolling down her face
Sometimes so choked up
I could not make out
What she said
I was only eight or nine
I did not know what to say
I listened as I felt helpless to help
She continued to talk
And I listened
After a while,
I realized there were no tears
Her voice and words were clearer
She had a look I did not understand
I was only eight or nine
It would be years later
When I understood that look
She had decided within herself
With quiet determination,
Her decision made
I was only eight or nine
I didn’t understand
The man we called Dad
And she called husband
Had chosen to leave us
To be a father and husband to another family
I was only eight or nine
I believed I said or did something wrong
Or maybe I was not pretty enough
And caused my father to leave.
After all, I had asked God for an older brother.
With my father’s new family, I now had one.
Although, it would be two years before I learned this.
My mother said not to worry
She would find a way for us to survive
She didn’t need a man
That didn’t want her to make it
I was only eight or nine
And I didn’t understand
Later, when alone in bed,
I begged God to return my father
But my prayers went unanswered.
It would be two years before I saw him again
He tried to explain
It wasn’t my fought,
It just wasn’t meant to be.
And although he still loved us,
He could only see us on visits.
I was only eight or nine, And I didn’t understand.
Until tomorrow, stay safe and keep the faith.
